I sit right behind a serious biscuit addict at work. When I say serious, I mean he has massive withdrawal symptoms if he doesn’t get his daily biscuit fix. He normally has a drawer full of biscuits and treats so at a round about the time you would normally get your afternoon lull in the office, you’re already high off all the sugar from his drawer of delightful treats.
He also has an addiction to Cadbury’s Giant Buttons, they’re not as good as Caramel Nibbles in my opinion, but I’m always grateful for the buttons when he has them. He recently asked me to pop out to buy some treats for him, giant buttons as a preference, he handed me a fiver and off I went. I bought him a pack of giant buttons and a couple of packets of biscuits. When I got back to the office he’d already stepped into his meeting which was for the rest of the afternoon, the team seemed to think that he wouldn’t mind if we tucked into the pack of giant buttons. They lasted all but two minutes. I was a little worried as I know they’re his favourites and he would have been really looking forward to them, hoping that he wouldn’t blame me for the other vultures on the team.
We have a large plant pot next to our desks, and sitting on top of the soil there are hundreds of little pebbles that look like chocolate covered raisins. The other boys on the team thought it’s be hilarious if we stuffed the bag full of the pebbles, re-sealed the pack and popped them back in the Sainsbury’s carrier bag ready for him to find when he got back from the meeting. We waited….unfortunately when he got back to his desk, to our disappointment, he just put the bag of goodies straight into his drawer so he could enjoy them the following day. Dammit.
The next day comes and we’re all waiting for him to take that packet of Giant Buttons/plant pebbles out of his drawer so we can see his face when he opens the pack (cruel I know, but also very funny!) FINALLY, he decided it was time to crack open the buttons, I sit with my back to him so turned round to glare at the rest of the team then had to take myself off into the kitchen as I couldn’t keep a straight face. He knew there was something up when he noticed the seal wasn’t quite right on the packet, he then opened it up to find a large helping of stinking plant stones. He was not happy, in-fact, he was devastated. He’d been looking forward to the buttons all day and then he’s presented with a packet of pebbly-looking poo.
I still feel really bad about the whole incident, If it was me in that situation and someone had replaced my caramel nibbles with pebbles I would probably have cried, or thrown them at whoever was closest to me. He still blames me for what happened that day, I keep trying to make it up to him but he’s having any of it. I even decorated his birthday cake with giant buttons. Hopefully one day he’ll forgive me, but for the time being, he still has button-rage.